my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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