People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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