Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
