okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
