just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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