we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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