my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i love accidental penises.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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