I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
