I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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