you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
