Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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