If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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