I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
