Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
