we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
