Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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