i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
