what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
