I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i love accidental penises.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
