If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He felt like a one man threesome
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
