I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize