I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
