Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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