Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
