Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
there is glitter all over my balls
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
