I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
