Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
