and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
