the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize