She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
