Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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