oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
