come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize