If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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