I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
