remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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