Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
