he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You're like the curious george of whores
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
