We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I still have a little drunk in my system
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
