Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
