well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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