I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
