yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
