You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
