Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
