i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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