oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
