I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
