How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
