i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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