i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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