whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
