Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
