I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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