I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
