Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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