I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
