dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
