youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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