I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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