just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Randomize
