okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
