they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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