Ambien. No doubt about it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
