Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I didn't shave. On purpose
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
