you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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