the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
