You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
