I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
