there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Drunk is not a location!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
