I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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