i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Screwed.edu
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
