Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize