Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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